Animals have been inspiring laughter since humans first started telling stories. From the dignified cat who clearly owns the house to the dog who acts like you've been gone for three years when you were only in the bathroom — the animal kingdom is an endless source of comedy. Here are 50 animal jokes for all ages.
What do you call a cat that gets everything it wants?
Purrr-suasive!
What do you call a dog that's a magician?
A labracadabrador!
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies!
What did the dog say to the tree?
Bark!
Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs!
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watch dog!
What is a cat's favorite color?
Purrr-ple!
What do you call a frozen dog?
A pup-sicle!
Why did the cat sit on the computer?
To keep an eye on the mouse!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter — it won't come anyway!
How do cats end a fight?
They hiss and make up!
What do you call a dog that's a film director?
Steven Spielbark!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
Irrelephant!
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino-snore!
Why can't you trust a lion?
Because he's always lion!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
How do you make a giraffe laugh?
Tell it a tall story!
What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
Prime mates!
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
He was playing with a cheetah!
What do elephants use to call each other?
Ele-phones!
Why don't elephants use computers?
Because they're afraid of the mouse!
What do you call a gorilla with headphones?
Anything you like — he can't hear you!
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bison!
What do you call a zebra with no stripes?
A horse!
What do you call a rhino that's also a poet?
A rhino-mancer!
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh!
Why don't sharks eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships!
How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten tickles! (Tentacles)
What's a shark's favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a river bank!
What do you call a whale that's sad?
A blue whale!
Why don't fish play tennis?
They might get caught in the net!
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster!
What's black and white and goes up and down?
A penguin in an elevator!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!
What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights?
Chicken!
What kind of birds work at construction sites?
Cranes!
Why did the duck get arrested?
Because he was selling quack!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don't know the words!
What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A polygon! (Polly-gone)
What do you call an owl that can do magic?
Whoooo-dini!
What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?
A maybe!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs!
What do you call a snail on a ship?
A snailor!
What do you call two spiders that just got married?
Newly-webs!
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them!
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk!
Why don't butterflies go to school?
Because they already know how to fly! (Flutter by)
Love funny animal facts? Check out BuzzLee.com's animal facts article — 40 hilarious real facts about animals that will blow your mind!
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Des cadeaux rigolo pour les passionnés d'humour — Amazon.ca